After having to surrender in his fight to protect the freedom of speech of 5 million voters and the futures of all Australian children, Christian lobbyist Lyle Shelton has now started a new job berating vulnerable women outside a prominent Surry Hills abortion clinic.

After 62% of the Australian population proved how Godless they have become by voting to legalise same-sex marriage, Lyle Shelton looks to be out of work until the Safer Schools program is brought back into public debate.

“There won’t be much money coming my way for a while” he says, with a look of disappointment.

“Not after how badly the No Campaign went… Millions went into that, and the gays won anyway”

Shelton says for the time-being he’s happy telling women what to do with their bodies while waving ultrasounds and reciting religious verses – but he is hoping for another public debate over legislation that religious people care about.

“Same Sex marriage was the holy grail to be honest – but I think abortions and allegations of schoolboys being encouraged to wear dresses is also enough to strike fear into the souls of elderly Catholics” he said.

“Ka-ching [laughter]”

“It’s also worth remembering the same-sex marriage actually hasn’t been legalised yet – I reckon this free speech angle might have legs if we can get Abbott in there tabling amendments”

“For the time being I’m going to stick to yelling at 18-year-olds who have decided they don’t have the support network to raise a child on their own”



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