The fact that his daughter’s brand new horse has sat locked in a stable for four weeks without once feeling the brand new saddle that was bought for it is not lost on Craig Warner.

The Chief Executive Officer of the Diamantina PharmaCo, Mr Warner has been begged for nearly a decade to buy his 15-year-old daughter Sally a pony.

After years of bartering and negotiating, it was agreed that Sally would ‘be lucky to get a horse’ on her 15th birthday, if she was able to keep all of her school teachers at St Sharons’ local all-girls private high school.

“That fucking horse cost me $100k off the bat!” he sighs.

“Of course her mother wouldn’t let me buy an old ex racer. It’d be ready for the glue factory by now if I’d done that”

“But no, we had to buy a brand spanker”

Sally had only just learned how to saddle up her brand new pet, which she named Taylor, before she started focusing her attention on going to school dances and spending weekends in the shopping centre.

“I’ve got another $100k a head of me before I get this thing out of my life” says Craig.

“For one, she won’t admit she’s given up interest until she gets asked to clean the stable”

“I’ll have to put this thing out to pasture in Betoota Heights for the next ten years so it can get patted twice a year”




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