Local vaccine skeptic, Angela Cooley (42), is the talk of the town in Betoota’s Old City District today, after it was revealed that the mother of four aryan darlings is moving the family to Mullumbimby, in the Northern River of New South Wales.

As one of our town’s most vocal anti-vaxxers, Angela has for years urged fellow residents to do their own research in the side effects of vaccinations.

The anti-vaxxer myth that humans are not simply born with autism has once again been peddled through social media, with talentless and bored yuppies taking great pleasure in feeling like they are smarter than the entire medical fraternity after watching some shit on YouTube.

Despite the fact that the entire global economy has been brought to it’s knees by one virus that is not yet vaccinated against, the Anti-Vaxxers have taken this difficult time to double down in their beliefs that immunisations provided by Australia’s free healthcare system actually cause autism in ‘normal people’.

And after years of doing her own research, Angela is now moving to The Northern Rivers to take her studies seriously.

After spending a couple of hours in line at the Flight Path District Centrelink, Angela was eventually to secure her new scholarship to attend the coveted University of Bigpond in Mullumbimby.

Also known as Broadband College, The University of Bigpond well known has the go-to higher learning institution for anyone looking to study any courses in subjects that can only really be found on the extreme ends of the common sense spectrum.

From white supremacist eugenics to 5G, The University Of Bigpond can undermine even the most down-to-earth scientists, by providing scared middle class Australians with the comfort of knowing that there is actually a higher-power that is in control – and that someone, somewhere has a plan.

The University of Bigpond has an impressive list of alumni like celebrity chef Pete Evans and alleged child porn trafficker Alex Jones – and provides qualifications on all numbers of things that relate to our government oppressing you through things like mind control and authoritarian rules and regulations.

Angela, as someone who has fallen down a rabbit hole on this whole constantly disproven ant-vaxxer stuff, says she looks forward to meeting her new lecturers on Youtube and WhatsApp in the next few months.

“I need go on dial-up when I get to Mullumbimby” she says.

“They don’t have NBN there, and 5G has been banned. So it’s actually quite hard to get online to study in the first place”


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