11 July, 2016. 11:05

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

The Baird government’s announcement last Thursday that it was shutting down greyhound racing in NSW because of evidence of systemic animal cruelty within the industry, has rendered the extremely unattractive dogs completely useless it has been confirmed.

Speaking to The Betoota Advocate today, CSIRO flora and fauna spokeswoman, Les Beehan, says that if it weren’t for the archaic practices of live-baiting with intent to create faster land animals, the Greyhound dog would be long extinct.

“I think it’s fair to say that this breed will end as nothing more than a memory in a museum. That’s if anyone even wants to stuff the things,”

“If it wasn’t for the money they generating with their fast genetics, we would have let the ugly things die out long ago,”

“They aren’t exactly cute.”

Premier Mike Baird has also weighed into the findings.

“Yeah, I mean, it was obviously quite unneccessary for these dogs to be mistreated the way they were… But I also acknowledge that this breed of canine serves no other purpose…” the Premier said today.

“Initially we were talking about finding homes for them all, however, upon inquiry it became evident that we were going to have to just excavate a mass grave for all 60,000 of them,”

“It seems that the only people who really cared about these dogs were the low-breed punters with piss in their trackies,”

“It’s a shame, but that’s just a prime example of modern natural selection. A bit like public housing in Sydney. If you get rid of it, they all die. Can’t be helped really,”

More to come.


  1. This whole fucking article is fucking bullshit, there is no use for a pug dog or an ugly cavalier no dog has a purpose except human companionship, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I bet no body but yo’ mumma thinks your very attractive either.


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