After years of having to publicly act like they were not happy with them, the Australian government has today unveiled a plan to make life a bit easier for the banking sector.

Treasurer Josh Frydenberg MP has today announced plans to allow banks to behave fucking recklessly, in the same way they did in the years leading up to the Global Financial Crisis that demolished the American middle class.

For reasons not yet identified, the Government is moving quickly free banks from their legal obligation to check whether potential borrowers can afford to repay a loan before they are granted it.

While being unable to explain how this would be a win, for anyone, Frydenberg was able explain how his brain is working right now.

“As Australia continues to recover from the COVID-19 pandemic, it is more important than ever that there are no unnecessary barriers to the flow of credit to households and small businesses.”

“We are going to achieve this by telling the banks to be fucking reckless and essentially look away at all the stuff we just had a Royal Commission into”

This new ‘make loans easier to get’ policy joins franking credits and the 2020 COVID social distancing measures as yet another Liberal Party brainchild that benefits absolutely no one except wealth hoarding boomers, and maybe the banks themselves.

With weaker lending standards allowing Australian citizens to be loaded up with as much debt as possible, this looks like a great idea for those looking to offload a property at the exact hysterical housing bubble price that they think they deserve for the one lick of paint they gave it in 1996.

The few Federal opposition MPs that have the ability to fucking talk have pointed out that maybe our Federal Cabinet should watch that Steve Carrell movie “The Big Short” before they decide whether or not they want to truly root the Australian people without a kiss.

At time of press, Keegan the 19-year-old car detailer from Gosford who smokes an ounce of kush a week, was going through the final stages of getting a 3.5 million dollar home loan approved for his dream waterfront sixteen bedder on the Hawkesbury.


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