CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A long-overdue reunion of girlfriends in Melbourne city has kicked off today with a cracking pace.
Starting with a couple of those jugs that have heaps of fruit in them, before being chased down with a couple of magnums of rosè – the girls are turning one on.
Those that have kids have wrangled at least 24 hours of freedom, and those that are currently enduring the wild west of the dating scene of been told to put their phones down.
The only romantic prospects that will be getting any airtime today are the heavily tattooed yahoos in the smoking area of whatever shithole pub they all end up at tonight when they become too rowdy for the more photogenic venues.
The pent up energy of nearly 300 days in lockdown has seen the mob of giggling patrons slip into somewhat of a psychosis, with the cheeky banter evolving into blatant sledging, without anyone blinking an eye.
“Oh my God Bella!” says one of the alpha females of the pack, Georgia.
“I’m so glad you’ve gone back to your natural hair colour”
“I didn’t want to say at the time, but you’ve looked like a plastic Fox News reporter for the last two years”
The newly-brunette Bella goes quiet, as does everyone else.
Georgia’s comment was always aimed to shock, but it’s up to Bella to decide whether or not it was offensive.
Eventually the pursed lips of shock crack into a smile, before exploding into a hyena laugh.
“Oh like you can talk Georgia!” says Bella.
“Look at those fillers!”
“No wonder you’re single, the guys must feel like they are kissing a Murray Cod!”
The crowd goes wild, as Georgia begins to immediate a fish between laughters.
The handsome Italian waiter at the other end of the venue observes this display of high-energy binge drinks with a look of sheer terror in his eyes.
The girls are on here.
