The likeliness of same-sex marriage being legalised before the new year has resulted in a collective sigh from the nation’s straight men who had successfully avoided going through the motions of an official wedding ceremony due to their political beliefs.

However, with a 61.6% YES vote in the recent gay marriage postal survey, these men are soon to be without an excuse as marriage equality looks to become introduced in the next month.

One such man is Wallabies star David Pocock, who up until now had gotten away with a low-key civil union to his partner, Emma.

“Well, here we go” says Pocock, as he begins googling Canberra wedding venues.

Pocock and Emma famously pledged in 2011 not to get married until their gay friends could do the same and the 65-Test Wallaby said he hoped the ‘yes’ vote would get home comfortably when the result are announced.

“We’ve been waiting a while” he says.

“Not as long as some people, but yeah, we are gonna have to go big on this one. A lot of pressure coming from the folks on both sides”

It is believed that just half and hour after the official survey results were released by the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the Pococks had received upwards of thirty cold-calls from Canberra-based wedding planners and celebrants.

“Oh, here we go” says the Brumbies captain, as he begrudgingly begins googling non-coal-seam-gas-affiliated, pro-same-sex marriage Zimbabwean wedding caterers in the ACT-area.

“This is gonna cost a bomb”


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