While waiting for a flight back up North to the Isa, Bob Katter MP has today made friends with some American blokes that have been working out of Yass.

While helping himself to a XXXX and soda, the maverick Independent for Kennedy got to talking to a food and wine expert named Antoni.

“I represent an electorate that’s quite big on agriculture and produce” said Katter.

“You should try some of the beef in the ‘curry”

After quickly having to clarify that he was talking about the North Queensland town of Cloncurry and not some sort of Indian dish, Katter was then introduced to a grooming expert, culture expert, design expert and a fashion expert, all who were sharing the same loft in regional New South Wales.

“Yeah, a few of my nephews used to work FIFO during the mining boom” said Katter, who assumed he was talking to a team of administrative staff from a nearby mineral exploration project just outside of the ACT limits.

“It’s a bloody shame what these foreign-owned companies have done to mining towns like Blackwater and Moranbah, back in the day there was none of these hot-bedding with blokes living with other blokes. You’d be able to live at home with your wives”

The Americans appeared briefly confused by the ramblings of this Northern gentlemen, before the fashion expert, Tan, began straightening up his collar for him.

“Oh Christ, thanks for that, mate. I got dressed in quite a rush this morning, gotta fly up to Townsville to talk to some useless state members about ethanol rebates. Their about as useful as tits on a bull that mob”

However, not even halfway through his conversation with these friendly Americans, it appeared to Mr Katter’s PA that he might be experiencing a Queer Eye makeover.

After briefly whisking him away, Katter’s assistant was quick to inform him that the lovely seppos weren’t actually mining workers, but a homosexual outfit of reality TV stars that were trying to doll him up.

“Stone the bloody crows” whispered Katter.

“Oh well. Good luck to ’em. There’s a fair few rude heads getting around Yass so I’m sure they’ll find plenty of work”

“May a thousand blossoms bloom”

“But I ain’t spendin’ any time on it, because in the mean time, every three months, a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in North Queensland,” he spat.


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