The recently-povo Former Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has today revealed that things are so fucked for him financially he’s gone as low as ‘dancing with the rabbit’.

A common term in RSL gaming rooms around the country, ‘dancing with the rabbit’ can be loosely translated as ‘I am financially illiterate and have decided to fuck my credit rating for the rest of my life’.

However, in Western Queensland, it can be translated as ‘I have just made the most irresponsible decision possible by signing up for a Nimble loan”

Nimble, who used to call themselves CASH DOCTORS, is just one in the new wave of micro-lending companies offering small, short-term loans to cash-strapped working class Australians living pay cheque to pay cheque – or dole cheque to dole cheque.

Nimble charges the maximum allowed by law – a 20 per cent establishment fee plus four per cent interest per month, which translates to 92 per cent annually if compounded monthly. Nimble also charges $35 for missed repayments and $7 per day until you’ve cleared the overdue debt.

The Member For New England says as an accountant, he knows he should know better, but the prospect of suffering through a lifetime of crippling debt and robocalls actually doesn’t sound that bad when you’ve got six kids eating cornflakes for dinner and need some fast cash.

“It was so easy to do” he said.

“Like, it makes me uncomfortable how easy that was”

While Mr Joyce says he has peeled back on life’s luxuries like non-servo coffees and butcher meat – he’s yet to give away the pokies, for now.

“I’m getting a better deal with this fucken things than I am with the rabbit” he said, making quite a fair point.

“pokies only take 80 cents to the dollar”



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