An Australian visiting America has been very surprised that people don’t treat him like some sort of demigod, even with his highly-exaggerated accent.

27-year-old Pearce Guerra relocated from South Betoota to West Hollywood several weeks ago for work, so far he’s noticed that nothing is really different to back home – when it comes to his strike rate.

Pearce says he long looked forward to rolling into a bar in the US and everyone falling over themselves to talk to him and potentially make love with him, however it seems that it’s not actually like Crocodile Dundee in real life.

“I always thought my accent would have some sort of magnetic effect on the opposite sex in this country. Where my lack of interpersonal skills and unkept physical appearance are completely overshadowed by the way I pronounce words”

“I mean I am in a gay area, but still” he says

“I don’t think I’d have much luck even if I was gay. It’s not even a novelty to be Australian around here”

Pearce says that with every second bartender and barista having an Australia accent, there is nothing romantic about being an Australian in America anymore, but then again, he could just have extremely shit chat.

“I thought I’d be able to pull off the Dolphin trainer thing, but people just spit at me and bring up that Blackfish documentary”

“Then I started talking different, saying ‘mate’ and ‘g’day’ heaps to everyone so it was really obvious I was Australian, then everyone just started ripping me for our treatment of asylum seekers in offshore detention”


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