Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has resigned from his role as state leader during snap press conference this afternoon.

Andrews will officially stand down as both Premier and the Member for Mulgrave at 5pm on Wednesday – after ‘making his mind up’ over the last few days.

However, in bad news for the Herald Sun-reading lockdown-brain nutcases that were hoping to see Dan Andrews in a guillotine, the government that he brought into power 9 years ago doesn’t look to be going anywhere soon.

The fact that Dan Andrews has left the role on his own terms enrages both the detached NewsCorp elite and their lacklustre puppets in the Victorian Liberal Party – mostly because they know deep down he could’ve won another two elections if he’d decided to stay on.

Even today, at this moment, with no one actually in charge of the Labor Government – it seems they that the Liberals would still lose an election against an empty chair if the voters were called to another state election.

The poor, poor man that has inherited the roaring binfire known as the Victorian Liberal Party has realised that being threatened with legal action from an anti-trans former colleague – that he suspended for attending a Nazi rally in the middle of Melbourne’s CBD – probably isn’t as bad as it’s gonna get.

The newly crowned Leader of the Victorian Opposition, John Pesutto, remains stuck knees-deep of the impossible task of turning his fucked up and deranged political party into something that could be considered mildly electable.

As the closest thing that the Victorian Liberals have to a ‘moderate’ since Josh Frydenberg lost his Federal seat to the Teal wave, John Pesutto had previously held the state division of Hawthorne from 2014 until he was voted out during one of the many ‘Danslides’ in 2018.

However, for Lord knows what reason, the 52-year-old decided to re-enter state politics and win his seat back in the November 2022 election.

As the only modern Liberal MP to gain a seat against Premier Andrews most recent red wave, Pesutto was held up as a glimmer of hope in a party that is very close to needing someone to turn them on and off at the wall.

Pesutto once again found himself back in Parliament, only to find the party had descended into full blown far-right IPA-fuelled conspiracy theorists.

Again, for Lord knows what reason, Pesutto then put his hand up to take over leadership from Matthew Guy after his second romping election loss against the man that locked up the entire state for 300 days.

It is not yet known what the fuck the future holds for the Victorian Liberal Party, given the fact that they haven’t been able to move the needle slightly despite being the unworthy recipients of 4 years of unbridled media support from both Sky News and the NewsCorp rags – as both the Murdoch elites seem to have just as little idea about what appeals to normal people as the delusional toffs stuck in oppopsition.


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