Malcolm Turnbull has taken the time out of his busy day to catch up with arch-nemesis and his predecessor, Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott.

It is believed that aside from rubbing int today’s same-sex marriage survey results, Turnbull has made a point of telling Tony Abbott that the Coalition government will never again spend that much money in an attempt to appease his religiously-charged detachment from the Australian public.

“I just want you to know, dickhead, that this was all your fault”

“We could have built two brand new hospitals with that money. But no, you needed an official statistic on how wrong you were”

“Pull your fucking head in. If Shorten wins this next election, it will only be because of your hero-worship for George Pell”

As confirmed this morning by the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the people of Australia have voted in favour of changing the law to allow same-sex marriage.

Australian Statistician David Kalisch announced the results of the ABS postal survey from Canberra, confirming the survey had delivered a Yes result. Of 12.7 million votes, 61 per cent were returned in favour of same-sex marriage.

The final participation rate accounted for 79.5 per cent of eligible voters, most of whom decided that gays can get married and who gives a fuck.

Tony Abbott is believed to be now working towards creating a nest of hyper-political red tape to prevent the marriage act from being changed before the next election – but it is believed his ego has been wounded by the overwhelming pro-SSM survey response from his own electorate.



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