10 April, 2016. 09:45


Senior Constable Steve Giles is retiring today after 47 years as a New South Wales police officer. In that time, he estimates he has arrested more than 10,000 people. But one arrest stands out: Mike Baird.

“It was Easter time at 1989. I was stationed in Kings Cross and we got a call about a fight. We turned up and found a couple of blokes having a blue. A witness told us that this kid in a pink shirt had king hit some bloke. So we arrested him,”

“In the back of the car, he wouldn’t shut up. He’d had a skin-full. Kept telling us he was Bruce Baird’s son and he’d have us sacked,”

As many Sydneysiders would remember, the reputable police officers from Darlinghurst station were notorious for being ‘incorruptible’ throughout the 70s, 80s and 90s

Steve Giles was one of these true blue coppers, but unfortunately the paper work never made it out the door.

“We took him to the station and charged him with assault and public drunkenness. While he was in the drunk tank sobering up, his old man made some calls and the whole thing was hushed up.”

“Turns out it was more of a slap from behind than a punch, but still, I was always by the book and I’ll never forget being forced to let the little prick go,”

“I’ve got the mugshot here, but I doubt even that’s enough evidence for this bloke to admit he was in the wrong. He’ll probably just start yelling skewed statistics,”

In 1989, Mike Baird’s father, Bruce Baird AM, was the Member for Northcott – and much like his son, the current NSW Premier, he had a lot of powerful friends.

Steve Giles’ admission makes for an interesting revelation, especially when considering the Premier’s current stand on political corruption.

“We will not tolerate corruption in this State, end of story,” said Mike Baird last year, in reference to Independent Commission Against Corruption, a Government agency responsible for his predecessor and political mentor’s resignation.

If proven to be true, the political intervention into Giles’ alleged arrest of Mike Baird would most definitely stack up alongside the almost irrefutable indicators that suggest the NSW Premier is currently being ‘looked after’ by casino owners and Kings Cross property developers.

Speaking to the media today, Mike Baird has dismissed the allegations that he was arrested on would have been his 21st Birthday, over the Easter weekend of 1989″

“Look, I am a human too. I was young once,” said the troubled Premier who is currently seeing his worst polls since before he gave a 17-hour press conference during the Martin Place Siege.

“…and when I was young it was a different culture. Usually, young people would be able drink all night and no one would get hurt. Plus we didn’t have all these westie nightclub owners,”

“I was never much of a drinker though, so the idea that this alleged incident was alcohol related is ridiculous. I remember my 21st well, I only had six shandys (three standard drinks)”


A Shandy is beer mixed with a soft drink, such as carbonated lemonade, ginger beer, ginger ale, or apple juice or orange juice. The proportions of the two ingredients are adjusted to taste, usually half-and-half. It is very common with affluent and politicised Christian surfers who can’t be seen to let their cheery guard down when out in public.

The Premier, who is responsible for imposing the current lock-out that have caused a sharp decline in Sydney’s hospitality and nightlife precincts, also denied claims that he ‘coward-punched’ someone on his 21st birthday.

“What everyone needs to remember is, I am the person who actually coined the term ‘coward-punch’ – As I did with ‘alcohol-related violence’ – So I can confidently say that I am innocent of these things,”

“It was a play fight that turned awry after our mates Christian rock gig, yeah I shouldn’t have slapped him but, hey, sometimes things happen when your out on the town,”

Baird also denied claims of political intervention.

“I am not corrupt. Assaults are down by 40% – it’ll take a lot to move me from that.”




  1. Nice to know that Mr Baird is infallible and incapable of admitting he was involved in this matter. Typical Politician response of Hear no evil, see no evil and it wasn’t me your worship.
    Another mess brushed under the carpet. For its not what you know but who you know to get off matters like this.

  2. Spoilt little brat syndrome, born with a silver spoon in his mouth, catapulted into politics by a wealthy and influential parents and has no right representing anyone in the political world , has no handle on how the real people feel.


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