8 May, 2016 10:15


Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has today visited the Governor-General Peter Cosgrove to ask for a double-dissolution election. He then launched the nation’s longest election campaign since the 1960s, culminating with a July 2 poll.

With the current Government’s pre-election promises currently under the spotlight, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull says the path is clear for the “greatest years in our nation’s history” – and it seems he won over former Australian Chief of Army and Chief of the Defence Force, General Sir Peter John Cosgrove, AK, MC.

Speaking to The Betoota Advocate this afternoon, The Governor-General said he himself was initially apprehensive about the Prime Minister’s pleas to dissolve the Parliament in preparation for an election, but quickly changed his tune when he was made aware of the fact that Malcolm Turnbull had arrived at Government house with a 30-block of ice cold green tins.

“Fuck, I didn’t need much convincing after that. That handsome silverfox knows how to do business!” chuckled the 68-year-old representative of Her Majesty.

“Any bloke who rocks up to my place on a Sunday arvo with a block of Victor Bravos and a deck of stuyvies is a fine by me,”

Turnbull fb post

“He treated our meeting with the respect it deserved, and he’d done is research. I’m a military man and I enjoy all things green – It also allowed us to skip the niceties and get down to business,”

However, while it seems the Prime Minister has sailed smoothly through today’s meetings and announcements, ABC political commentator Barrie Cassidy has pointed out that arriving at Government house with a cold carton of tins could be considered a form a political bribery.

“It all comes down to how many beers Mr Turnbull had alongside the Governor-General,” he said to ABC 24.

“If it was a case of him having 1 or 2 and leaving the rest of them to Cosgrove, then he might have an issue,”

“If he stuck around for more than six, well obviously that’s more of a shout. It’s something that everyone is going to be looking at in the next few days regardless,”

“A lot of people are under the impression that Turnbull would have to be half-drunk all the time with some of the shit he keeps pulling out before this election, but he seems to be impressing the right people.”


  1. No way. I just dont believe this story. I challenge the Betoota right here and now that Malcolm ‘smug arse’ Turnbull will NEVER be seen drinking a Veebster during the entire election campaign. He might be seen holding a Hahn light and not drink it. But that doesnt count.

  2. Here we go. All the pollies will be out securing their jobs and the “how dumb can you get” electorate will have a Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee pick between the two on July 2.
    We are all on a short cut to the shit house.
    As an example, we are spending hundreds of billions on submarines which are not necessary and are notoriously hard to crew, and Joint Strike Fighters (JSF) that in 2007 war games were so far short of current Russian fighters that it was an embarrassment. Both sides have agreed to these.
    In the meantime those clowns in Canberra just blow out the nation debt and crap on about trajectories and forward estimates as though they know what they are talking about. Both do this.
    This is a representative constitutional monarchy, not a democracy and we are all being taken for one big ride.
    Informal voting is the only way to go. It does not encourage the bludgers.

  3. I always had Malc down as a crownie man. Looks like I’ve misjudged the prick big time.

    Jeez, maybe he’s right about giving Australia to the rich bastards too.


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