31 March, 2016. 10:15


Australia’s exotic day spa industry is expected to see a boom in business heading into the new financial year, with the government’s announcement that “special massages” will now be tax deductible.

The federal treasurer, Scott Morrison, announced the changes last week, stating that ‘Special Massage’ will be included in a tax deductible health services category.

In the seven days since, business analysts believe that trade has gone up 90% in Australia’s exotic day spa industry.

Westmead brick layer, Leo Falcone, says the changes have restored his faith in the Liberal Government.

“It’s about time we’re allowed to claim things that are actually useful” said the father of three.

“I’ve been going to Misty’s every Saturday night since I was 19 – if these laws came in 10 years ago… I could have put my kids through private school”

However, Brisbane accountant John Nguyen says it could be more difficult to claim the ‘late night special’ than people realise.

“What you need to understand is that if you are audited, you need to show receipts stating that clarifies when and where you received these services,”

“Generally, your local rub’n’tug joint will list payments under a more subtle title, making it hard to prove to the ATO,”

“I mean good luck claiming ‘special visit to doctor’ in June. Some even go down as a ‘movie night’… It’s a tough one”

“There’s also the issue of your significant other finding these declarations if you do your tax together,”

Nguyen says that as a result of the changes, he will only be providing tax services to single men and women.

“I’ve had couples go ape shit in my office over porn subscriptions – imagine the shit fight this will cause. I don’t need that stress”

Not everyone is a skeptical as Nguyen however, and Mr Falcone says he’s willing to take the risk.

“If the missus finds out… I’ll just buy her a new handbag. You can deduct those on tax now anyway”

“I’ve always been a very worldly bloke and I’ve become accustomed to oriental culture in my travels to and from the pub,”



  1. It’s about time the punters got some back, most of the cathouses in Canberra offer loyalty punch cards to pollies, like your cafe. If they are all getting every 5th job free it’s only fair to allow the rest of us a rebate, by my quick numbers about 16% would cover it. Come to think of it if the whole industry was set up to charge under medicare you would just swipe your green card and madame could return the rebate direct to a nominated account.

    Anyone proving to be too drunk to name themselves, or having lost the lot to Ladbrokes that night could be bulk billed?


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