15 January, 2016 10:15


In an interview with Radio National this morning, the leader of the Palmer United Party, Clive Palmer has revealed just how he is able to continue his day-to-day business and political endeavours while wearing a suit in the blazing Canberra heat.

“It has been something I have had a lot of trial and error with,” said Clive Palmer, between mouthfuls of the Big Brekky Roll his assistant had picked up at Maple & Clove on the way to the ABC studios.

“I have spent a fair amount of my career living [puff] and working [puff] in North Queensland. As anyone who’s been up that way would know, the humidity in deep North means that stocky blokes like me are primed for a bit of chafing. Especially when we get around in suits,”

Chafing refers to the irritation of skin caused by repetitive friction, usually generated through skin to skin contact of multiple body parts. Chafing is usually contracted in the inner thighs and inner glutes; armpits and nipples can also develop chafing although it is less common.

As Clive Palmer pointed out, a dark suit on a summer day can result in the most brutal upper thigh chafing for larger men of the political arena. Althought he says it isn’t something he rarely thinks about since he began wearing lycra activewear under his suit pants.

“The compression lycra really helps keeps a distance between my ‘thighceps’ [laughter]”

“I haven’t chafed down there since I first started rocking the Skins a few years back. Lazarus got me onto it when we first launched Palmer United,”

“It’s about the only decent thing that prick ever did for me,”

With a top of 36 degrees predicted in the capital this week, it seems like Clive Palmer’s wisdom may spread through the halls of Parliament house and straight under the pleated trousers of some our nation’s most portly ministers.

“I received a hand-written letter from Joe Hockey yesterday, he said despite all the headbutting – he’ll never forget what I did for him. He used to be tormented by his chafing,”

“Kim Beazley used to wear silk pantihose he borrowed from his missus,”

“It’s a tough game, thank God for Lycra.”



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