Politics

WE ARE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS THOUGH: Former PM Malcolm Turnbull has lashed out at his old colleagues for their desperate attempts to terrify voters about an imminent war with China, warning that such “reckless” comments had “no basis in fact” and harmed our national security. Peter Dutton said on Friday there was “no doubt in his mind” that China want...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT After two whole years of intensive focus groups and market research aimed at softening the public image of Scotty From Marketing, it seems the pre-election strategy of 2022 has been to blame the Prime Minister's wife for every mistake he has ever made. What was supposed to be a light-hearted 60 Minutes puff piece aimed at winning back...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT As the entire Federal Cabinet implodes due to Morrison's relentless bridge-burning and factional disputes, even the Government's most historically reliable ally NewsCorp have gone quiet. This may be due to the fact that Scott Morrison, when backed into a corner over the issue of women's safety in Parliament House, decided to fire shots directly at NewsCorp during...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT After a fortnight of leaked text messages and an unprecedented grilling from the same media outlets that got him elected in 2019, Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has today deduced that his biggest hurdle to re-election is the National Press Club in Canberra. The National Press Club is an association of news journalists, academics, business people from both...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In a story that would have dominated the newscycle in simpler times, One Nation founder and leader Pauline Hanson was stung multiple times by wasps while gardening in her backyard earlier this week. While presumably pruning all the colourful flowers while leaving the white ones, the Queensland senator was stung multiple times by the swarm of wasps leaving her...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT There have been reports of a rather noisy Quiet Australian being hospitalised in Central Queensland this afternoon, after gatecrashing a regional Labor branch meeting to relay Sky News talking points in front of the recently selected local candidate. Complete with his salmon Calvin Klein polo, local property investor Huxley Hector-Darby (55), was last seen leaving a local country...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactWith the election just around the corner, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has decided to put on his marketing hat once again today to come up with a new campaign that can benefit both his public image and aged care workers - and also his insatiable thirst for violence. After watching just one episode of Squid...

EFFIE BATEMAN | LIFESTYLE | CONTACT In breaking news that nobody except 99% of the world’s scientists could have predicted, it appears as though the country is yet again on fire.Western Australia has been battling away against persistent and disastrous bushfires over the course of a month, while residents of both Tasmania's wild north-west and Victoria’s Grampians are being met with extremely urgent...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Scott Morrison has all but secured the warehouse and fruit markets vote today, by telling Australia's blue collar workers that he believes children could manage their roles when they get sick. With a shortage of workers crippling supply chains due to the fact that this virus is out of control and our borders are still preventing underpaid immigrants from...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Scotty from Marketing has today truly outdone himself by suggesting an incredible solution to the nation’s food shortage. After copping major flack for empty supermarket shelves, teacher shortages and nurses working overtime to treat the overflowing ICU beds, Scotty has refused to concede defeat by admitting his fuck ups, and has instead turned to brainstorming. In what has become a...