After a fortnight of leaked text messages and an unprecedented grilling from the same media outlets that got him elected in 2019, Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has today deduced that his biggest hurdle to re-election is the National Press Club in Canberra.

The National Press Club is an association of news journalists, academics, business people from both the public and private sector. Based in Canberra, they host a weekly formal speech of approximately one hour, which includes time for questions from members of the media.

Right now, it is a thorn in the Prime Minister’s side, and the only reason he keeps copping shit from the media.

This theory has been circling through Scotty’s head ever since Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese was invited to give a Press Club address two weeks ago, an appearance that sparked his first media coverage in the last 6 months, in turn giving him a boost in the polls.

Just last week Morrison was hammered by journalists in his own Press Club address, who have grown tired of his spin, and ambushed by Network Ten journalist Peter Van Onselen who read out leaked text messages from disgruntled Liberal colleagues on live television.

Today it was former Liberal staffer Brittany Higgins and 2021 Australian of the Year Grace Tame spoke at the National Press Club in Canberra.

Throughout the address, Higgins went into great detail to explain just how let down she has been by this government, in both protecting her from sexual assault and helping her navigate her way to justice. She was then followed by Grace Tame who took the stage to drop yet another bombshell on Morrison, claiming a senior member of an organisation funded by the government called her to ask her not to say anything controversial about the PM in her final days as the Australian of the Year last month.

In response to his current fall from grace as the media darling of Australian politics, Scott Morrison has decided to see if he can rattle a few cages with funding cuts – like Grace Tame just revealed he had attempted to do to the Australian Of The Year committee.

“Hugo!” shouted the Prime Minister this afternoon, calling for his top political advisor.

“Hugo, my boy”

“This National Press Club. Who runs it? Who funds it? Is it us.”

“If so… Let’s review that”

“Let them know that we are willing to cut into the bone if these godless hacks don’t want to play ball”

“It worked with the ABC, and it worked with the CSRIO”

The National Press Club is not publicly funded.


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