ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Just months after Floridanese police and sheriff departments had to ask citizens to not shoot at Hurricane Irma, a similar situation is currently unfolding in Victoria where thousands of gun owners plan to shoot the impending bad weather away.

Owners of Victorian shotgun, centre and rimfire rifle, as well as a few handgun owners, have vowed to make a stand against what the Bureau of Meteorology is calling a “big storm”.

Speaking to The Advocate this afternoon via telephone, one Ararat shotgun owner said he will do his best to stop the storm before it does too much damage.

“I went down the Elders this afternoon and bought me some shells,” said Rhett Bong, a 47-year-old workman.

“Also got some castor oil, polony and a few loaves of bread. I’m going to live like a king and shoot this got dam fucking cloud back to the Artic where the somabitch come from,”

“Fuck you John Brumby! Muthafucka [sic] not laughing now! Praise be upon Ricky Muir, the merciful and kind, ya’ll. Woolooloooo!”

However, Mr Bong said he and the other gun owning members of his community will not be swayed by the authorities and their calls to not shoot the inclement weather.

“Fuck them, too!”

A spokesman for the Victorian Police Force explained to The Advocate that if any gun owner feels the need to discharge a firearm in public, their staff will promptly shoot back on behalf of the storm.

“If you would like to die this weekend, shoot at the clouds in a public space,” said the spokesman.

“We have a very low tolerance for gun-related horseplay in the country for obvious reasons so do not try us.”

More to come.


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