ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A popular local builder has been mocked and humiliated by an uppity barista at a trendy cafe in Betoota’s French Quarter this afternoon for ordering an ‘expresso’.

Gregory Murchison, the self-described ‘coffeeologist’ at Le Pisse Dans Ma Poche, said he enjoys it when someone wearing hi-vis comes into his trendy French-inspired eatery and ignorantly orders something by mangling the pronunciation.

“It’s actually ‘espresso’, mate,” said Murchison to Dan Pinochet, owner-operator of Dundee Builders.

“There’s no ‘x’ in it, you big simple dope! If you’re looking for the International Roast, try going to ALDI next time. We don’t sell Betoota Bitter here or have any brickie’s laptops, either! So don’t ask!”

And with that, Pinochet shrugged and walked out of the cafe to a chorus of chortling office people.

He spoke briefly to our reporters just down the road who was locked in a heated confrontation with a parking ranger.

“Oi those blokes up the road in that Italian joint laughed at me because of how I ordered coffee,” said Dan.

“They’re such wankers but shit I’m tired. They told me to get some instant coffee, which I’d rather but I’m not about to buy a big tin of it just for one coffee,”

He turned to the parking ranger, who was writing Dan up a ticket for being in a No Stopping.

“Can’t you cut me a break?”

The ranger, having heard his story, showed some evidence that they do have souls and agreed not to give Dan a ticket.

More to come.


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