CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A local amateur tattooist has today put his mates on notice.
It’s not a gun, it’s a machine.
This comes after someone made the fatal, and arguably political incorrect gaffe during a kick on last night.
Despite not being able to tattoo people for money, and only whipping this disastrous tattoo-maker out during the early hours of the morning, Jordie says it’s quite disrespectful to call his gun a machine.
“Get it right bro” he says to his drunk as fuck mates.
A recent report by the American Medical Association states that late night afterparties should avoid being in the same vicinity as a hand-held tattoo device capable of leaving permanent marking of the skin with indelible ink.
A group of researchers randomly sampled 64 adult Australians who enjoy going on benders found the average rate of homemade tattoos is much higher for people who have a friend that bought a tattoo gun online a while back.
Lead researcher Professor Leon Tallis says that the likelihood of having a Simpsons quote, dodgy caricature or drug-related puns increase dramatically if a bloke named ‘Bev’ or ‘Rowan’ is hosting the kick-on.
“One subject had never gotten a tattoo in their life” said Tallis.
“By the end of a bender they had turned their upper thigh into a canvas. Olympic rings, a Vulcan Salute, misspelt latin quotes – it was very reminiscent of the Chopper Read-style of tattooing”
However, Jordie, says it’s just a bit of skin and everyone needs to chill out bra.
“People can do what they want with their bodies after a handful of doopers and 13 schooners” he says.
“It’s also called a tattoo machine by the way – not a gun”