ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Prime Minister is in our state’s sodden south-east corner this afternoon where he’s taking a look at the Brisbane River and how full of water and shit it is.

Scott Morrison’s presence in Brisbane was only confirmed after a number of political opponents and media commentators questioned just wear in the bloody hell he was while the New South Wales Northern Rivers and the South-East Corner went under.

“Oh, he’s there,” his office secretary said.

“It’s just that he’s wearing a camouflage jacket, which makes him even more invisible than he already is. I can tell you that Scott has been looking at the water from a helicopter. He said there was a lot of water on the ground and that made him sad. Scott has also taken a team of photographers with him to take pictures of him touching Australians on the hands and face. He is providing hugs and backslaps,”

“It would be categorically false to say he’s not there. He’s clearly there and he’s going more than Anthony Albanese right now, who is probably over at Adam Bandt’s house stoned ouf of his mind listening to Simple Minds while they plot to overthrow the government at the next election. Remember, a vote for Albo is a vote for The Greens. Just like a vote for Barnaby Joyce is a vote for me,”

“Mr Morrison is helping right now, he’s above politics at the moment. There’s a time for everything and now’s the time to roll your sleeves up and help your neighbour.”

The Advocate was able to confirm that Mr Morrison is in Brisbane at the moment and just moments after being told of the dangers that lurk in floodwater, he started to wade through some.

More to come.


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