It’s not even dark yet and Tomas Bird (26) has made a fool of himself.

The market analyst at a local firm in Betoota spent all week winding himself up about Australia Day, and it has come back to bite him.

Friends of the Betoota born and raised man told us that the writing was on the wall early for Bird.

“You could see it was only going to end in tears,” said friend Lucy Young.

“He strolled in with a carton, and immediately looked ‘on.’ Birdy pulled out a six pack and threw a couple at the other boys and requested that “They fucking bomb those right now,” said Young.

Young said that poor ‘Birdy’ has a habit of getting over excited.

“You could compare him with a little puppy I guess? But instead of lowering his bum and pissing on the floor when someone pats him, he just drinks too much and vomits on himself,” she said.

As the day wears on, Birdy has already been involved in a physical confrontation with a close childhood friend, and taken part in a very public argument with his girlfriend

Slumped in a camping chair with a warming beer in his hand, Bird told us that he is aware he is a disappointment.

“Yeah whatever. I don’t even care,” he slurred.

“I vomited on myself before and told Simsy I hated his girlfriend of 3 years but fuck I don’t know, if you can’t let your hair down every now and then what can you do?”


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