ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

If the last Royal Wedding was anything to go by, a polite and homely homemaker from Betoota Grove has purchased a substantial amount of alcohol in preparation for the party she’s hosting on the big day.

Wanda Coleman, of Greenbow Road, was seen picking out grog down at the Cobb & Co Cellars in the leafy enclave’s shopping strip earlier today.

In her cart stood a dozen bottles of red, two dozen longnecks of rose lying down horizontally – plus an additional six bottles of overproof Bundaberg Rum, one bottle of Southern Comfort, two flagons of complex fruity lexia, four cans of Betoota Bitter, a carton of Marlboro Red town smokes, four 50 gram pouches of Port Royal and a bottle of Bolinger for when they couple say ‘I do’.

“That should be enough,” she said to the sales attendant, who was coming to terms with the fact that all of this alcohol was going to be put through a dozen 60-year-old livers.

Wanda laughed as the employee asked for just over twelve hundred dollars.

He even helped her take it out to her late model Commodore, which had a few floor chimes rolling around under the passenger seat already.

Just before the boot slammed shut, our reporter caught up with Mrs Coleman before she left.

“It’s just the worst when you run out of grog,” she said.

“That’s why I got so much. Even if we don’t get through it, we can have it later,”

“I’m famous for my Royal Wedding Parties around town. I had my first one with Diana. Penny Turner is bringing the sandwiches, cucumber of course! Diana Brooks has got her hands on some cocaine, just like it’s the 80s! Looking forward to Saturday, it’ll be a big one. Come by if your not doing anything, though. Where those shorts I see you in down at the pool! [laughs]”

More to come.


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