Hobbyist magician Alexander Eisenhoof (38) has performed his greatest illusion to date by making any chance he had of ever finding a girlfriend disappear.

The part-time magician who goes by the name Alex Kazam says he cannot reveal how he did this trick (for fear of violating the Magician’s Code) but hinted that his use of eyeliner, constant Rick and Morty references and five figures spent on magical paraphernalia might have something to do with it.

“A magician doesn’t always need an assistant! Especially when your performances are usually just at the RSL talent show. Third place, no big deal.”

Eisenhoof’s last known girlfriend, Cassandra Hobbs states that Eisenhoof’s extreme commitment to “the majestic world of magic” was an everyday problem during their 13-week relationship.

“He kept calling me Abra-Cassandra. Do I even need to tell you anything else?”

Clearly his greatest act of magic today, Eisenhoof hopes to out-do himself by vanishing his mum’s nagging or turning his crippling debt into a comfortable income.

While comfortable with the only women in his life being the four queens in a deck of cards, Eisenhoof is still a little disappointed that he will never find ‘the one.’

“It’s shame because I can think of 400 amazing ways to propose that all involve magic!”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here