ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The terms Blood, Sugar, Sex and Magik are completely lost on a Betoota Heights man as he’s somehow able to walk around town in high-top Chuck Taylor Converse sneakers without being addicted to the shindig.

The fraud, who calls himself Simon, says he enjoys wearing the high-top version of the popular childrens’ shoe because they give him ankle support.

He spoke to our reporter about being shindig-clean his whole life, apparently, as well as other shoes he has that give him able support.

The Advocate would like to make clear that the “feet” in the image above are Simon’s feet and his ankles are massive. In fact, you could push three packets of mince into one of those shoes and it would be indistingushable from his foot. They are truly disgusting feet.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about; what the hell is shindig?” Simon asked our reporter.

Our reporter said shindig is party and that he should stop bullshitting himself and being coy.

“Honestly, I have bad ankles. I have like three pairs of Air Jordans, too. I don’t know what the big deal is?”

More to come.


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