On top of the very public accusation that he is a ‘horrible psycho’ who ‘nobody trusts’ in his most recent media appearance, Prime Minister Morrison also found himself being grilled over his detachment from the average Australian’s cost of living.

The Prime Minister was stumped on Tuesday when asked at the National Press Club to list the price of a loaf of bread, a litre of petrol and a rapid antigen test.

‘I’m not going to pretend to you that I go out each day and I buy a loaf of bread and I buy a litre of milk,’ he admitted, sparking outrage amongst a room full of journalists who probably don’t do that either.

While a trivial issue in the scheme of things, as the leader of a country in the midst of pandemic-fuelled economic slump, the PM is facing criticism from the public for not even knowing what the people are going through.

However, according to the PM’s closest government confidante and fellow Hillsong extremist, Employment Minister Stuart Robert, Scotty doesn’t know the price of bread and petrol because his household adheres to traditional gender roles like good Pentecostal Christians do, and therefore his wife Jenny does all the shopping.

Stuart Roberts extremely weird attempts to normalise the unpaid domestic service of Australian women, were then followed up by even weirder comments.

“I think I know Scott Morrison personally better than almost anyone on the planet, apart from his wife”

However, in the midst of this furore about Morrison’s detachment from everyday Australian life, nobody except for The Betoota Advocate has bothered to ask Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese if he could answer the same questions.

“I honestly couldn’t tell you either, mate” said Albanese.

“Not because I don’t go shopping anymore… I just don’t go to shopping centres. I’m from Marrickville fuck ya.”

“You ever been here? It’s nothing but wogs and viets as far as the eye can see”

“We’ve got fruit shops, bakeries and butchers out the arse mate”

“Wogs and viets. You reckon I’ve ever paid market rate for a loaf of bread? Not since the Vietnamese first starting piling off the boats in the 1970s.”

“Multigrain is still going for under two bucks on Illawarra road. I know for a fact those prices haven’t followed inflation.”

“Bit like the minimum wage aye? Haha”


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