CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The Labor Party’s all powerful Surry Hills branch has today put their foot down, after it was revealed that their beloved party is making an attempt at appealing to the working man.
Known colloquially as the ‘No Socks Chino Crowd’ – the Surry Hills branch represents the beating heart of Labor’s growing faction of neoliberal inner-city elites who were raised by Liberal Voters that have left them enough money to comfortably identify as ‘left wing’.
However, the left-wing they are talking about is a weird fusion of Greens social policies and Malcolm Turnbull’s never-enacted energy policies, not the type of left-wing that is aimed around making sure people don’t die at work.
Today they are feeling ignored, and possibly oppressed, by the announcement that the Labor Party has chosen to run a man who works with his hands for the Upper Hunter By-Election.
In a traditionally blue collar region of NSW, a Labor win in the Upper Hunter could mean that the Berejiklian government loses it’s majority.
Although the Coalition have held the seat with backbenchers for nine decades, it is now on a slim margin of 2.6 per cent – after the resignation of Nationals MP Michael Johnsen who is being investigated for the rape of a sex worker.
Mr Johnsen denies the accusation of rape and says he is confident the police investigation will find him innocent, but the headlines don’t look too good for his party – particularly in the wake of what is happening in Canbrra.
However, Labor’s decision to pre-select a coal miner for this by-election in a coal mining electorate has been met with backlash from their inner-city comrades, who feel this by-election detracts from their end goal of shutting down every mine in the world and putting that entire workforce on JobSeeker.
“This is such a backwards slide, man” says Surry Hills branch president Cleo Accambray, a 44-year-old cryptotrader who started voting for Labor when he saw Kevin Rudd make a funny joke on ROVE in 2007.
“Why are they trying to appeal to these people”
“I swear the Labor Party just needs to cut loose the dead wood from these bogan rural electorates. We need to focus on marginal seats like Bondi and Manly!”
“This is not how I expect MY party to act”
