FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact

As Trump continues to publicly deny his election defeat, White House officials say that behind closed doors he is preparing for a hasty departure, with a number of fixtures and fittings recently disappearing, only to reappear later on online auction sites. 

“I don’t know how he is getting away with it” said an unnamed source.

“The desk in the Oval Office has been replaced with a door balanced on milk crates. Everybody has noticed but nobody wants to say anything.”

“The other day I saw Trump unloading copper wiring from the boot of the presidential limo at the scrapyard and now the lights in the West Wing don’t work anymore”. 

Reports from Washington suggest the Secret Service has been instructed to move electronics and furniture from the White House into U-Haul trucks and detain anyone who enquires about the operation. 

When confronted, the President denied any knowledge of the allegations.

“This is just the fake news media trying to make me look bad. It’s true. That’s what they are doing,” he said, casually leaning on the door/milk crate desk.

“It’s all fake news. I don’t know anything about Operation Ransack. I’ve never even heard that word before. Ransack? Why did I even bring it up? I don’t know, it’s some sort of media trick.”

“They’re just trying to discredit me. Fake news is all it is. I don’t know anything about Operation Ransack, or ebay user GreatestPOTUS_69 or any missing light fittings. What light fittings?” 


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