A new study by the Australian Bureau Of Statistics has found that 93% of all expatriated Pākehā women living in Australia have short cropped hair and sound exactly the same as that comedian Cal Wilson.

Pākehā is a Māori-language term for New Zealanders of European descent. The term has also recently come to refer inclusively either to fair-skinned persons, or to any non-Māori New Zealander. While exclusive to the New Zealand census forms, Pākehā a term that many caucasian New Zealanders cling to outside of their home country.

However, while their appears to be some diversity in hair length and voices between middle-aged Pākehā women in New Zealand, the similarities of expats of the exact same demographic living in Australia has left many researchers from both countries puzzled for many years.

The survey was conducted on the sidelines of junior rugby matches around the country and in the conference rooms of both media and recruitment agencies.

“What we’ve found is that this mum-like look isn’t even contained to mothers” said chief Kiwi-Australian researcher, Quade Thorn.

“The similarities in voice aren’t even put down to their accents, in that, if blindfolded they would all sound like the exact same person – and that person is Cal Wilson”

“And if they do have kids, they also tend to have a lot of sons”


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