2 September, 2015. 16:43

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A REPORT RELEASED by Her Majesty’s Prison Service has detailed allegations that Australian-born British entertainer Rolf Harris is being treated like his iconic wobble board inside the walls of Stafford gaol.

It’s claimed by the convicted sex criminal that the prison authorities have “done nothing” to stop other inmates picking him up and bending his spine while they belt out some of his most recognisable tracks.

HM Prison Stafford has yet to respond to the allegations of assault and it’s not expected they will, as claims from people such as Mr Harris’ are kept very low on the totem pole.

However, one former inmate of the minimum security facility has confirmed that the crook has been and will continue to be treated like a wobble board.

“Yeah, bred. It all true man [sic],” he said.

“Dey boys ‘ed pick the cun’ up by his hair and feet right.  Like ‘is gay as fuck wobble board, den dey wobble the cun’t unill he pass out bred [sic]”

“Fucken well funny ay.”

The prisoner in question said all they wanted to do with Mr Harris was to “make the cunt sing” but most of the time he left them disappointed.

A new jailhouse weapon was named in honor of the musician, which is simply a rolled-up wet towel – called a “kangaroo tail”.

“Dis on’ nigh’ righ’, we tied de cun’ down to his cot and flogged ‘im wif these kangeroo tails. True storey mon. great ye.” he said.




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