A recent report by the CSIRO has found that the best way to deal with the various unpleasant physiological and psychological effects that following the consumption of ethanol, as found in wine, beer and distilled spirits – is to continue doing it.

Lead researcherr Lockyer Tuqiri has said that even if you are really hurting, the best option is to resume drinking heavily and smoking durries if thats your thing.

“Some call this method ‘the hair of the dog’ – but I think that is to imply only making a slight effort towards returning to the state one was in 24 hours earlier”

“We have found that matching, if not outmatching, the previous evenings performance is the most foolproof way of dealing with this”

University of Western Queensland students, and volunteer researchers, Teddy and Brett, say that after a blow out last night they were feeling pretty crook – until they decided to find a bright beer garden that sells sweet cocktail-type drinks.

“We just nudged through it” says Teddy.

“Now I feel human again. If I can taper this bad boy down into a drunken bowl of pasta and plenty of water… I might be close to 80% by the time I get up for work”

“I fucken hope so anyway”



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