ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Former US President Barack Obama has shared with his dinner guests what he would’ve said to Kim Jong-Un face-to-face if he had the chance.

Hosting a collection of geopolitical specialists in his grand Washington DC home tonight (local time), Obama even laughed off suggestion from a half-drunk Al Gore that he would’ve sent a drone instead.

“Come on, Al,” Obama reportedly said.

“No, I’ll tell you what I would’ve said to him.”

A hush filled the room.

“I would’ve told him that he either handed over his weapons of mass destruction. We actually know you have them because you’ve blown half a mountain away, like you can’t deny it,”

Bill Clinton cough-laughed.

“Then he would’ve been like ‘Come and take them from me then’ – which then I would’ve taken that to the UN and basically told them we should put pressure on China to deal with it. Then China would’ve laughed at the UN roundtable, flipped Hillary off then walked out,”

A half-awake Joe Biden got up to take a piss, nodding while silently taking beer orders from the group hunched around the television.

“I would’ve said, ‘Open your country to the world and I can help you do that.'”

Another pensive pause filled the room.

Bill Clinton, now seemingly unconscious, moaned softly in his armchair beside the fire.

“Right?” asked Obama.

Everybody nodded in agreement just as Joe returned from the other room with cans of Guinness.

“This is all I could find guys, is this ok?”

Everybody nodded again.


More to come.



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