ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A worried Bob Katter has phoned North Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-un this afternoon to make sure he doesn’t plan on nuking Cloncurry any time soon after many of his local constituents raised their concerns overnight.

The conversation, said to have lasted close to an hour, concluded with Kim promising Mr Katter than there are ‘far more strategic targets’ in other parts of Australia.

“That Kim is a reasonable man if you rub him the right way, like my friend Gregory. He has this cat that will scratch you if you rub it the wrong way. Kim is much like Gregory’s cat,” said Katter.

“Anyway, I have received a lot of phone calls from Cloncurry locals who are concerned about Kim Jong-un and his nuclear capabilities. So I did my job and gave him a ring,”

“We spoke for about an hour about the world and how it works. We spoke about Creedence Clearwater Revival. We spoke about how Chinese food in country towns is better than Chinese food in China. I told him a joke about Warren Entsch and his moustache. Kim laughed, we are on the same page.”

The Advocate reached out The Office of the Supreme Leader for comment and received a prompt and well-thought-out reply.

In their official statement, the North Koreans told our reporters that they were confused by the whole interaction.

“He is a nice man with excellent stories of far away lands,” said the statement.

“But as for what he wanted, we are still not sure. Cloncurry is of no strategic importance what so ever. The entire phone call was just the Dear Leader asking Mr Katter to say ‘crikey’ over and over again,”

“Then he told him that Australia is not for sale before hanging hung up.”

More to come.


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