ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Brisbane finance worker on transfer in London has laughed at the worry expressed over Storm Ophelia this week as he shows his British friends what a real, Australian dust storm looks like.

Flicking through images of The Great Dust Storm of 2009, Will Coleridge bragged about how natural phenomenon such as the one affecting the United Kingdom and Ireland at the moment are ‘commonplace’ Down Under.

“Mate, this isn’t a real dust storm,” said the 29-year-old mergers and acquisitions specialist.

“Take a look at this. Back in the day, this basically brought the entire east coast of Australia to a standstill. The Great Dust Storm of 2009 it was, although they happen all the time back home, but. Storm Ophelia is basically a weekly occurrence in Queensland. Sky’s half red of an evening time about half the time, mate,”

“You fellas have nothing to worry about. Take it from a bloke who knows his dust storms. Everything will be just fine.”

Unbemused by Will’s old yarns from the Great Southern Land, his coworker, frequent drinking partner and closest English mate, George Watford, told The Advocate that like many Australians do abroad, he knows Will his ‘hamming the whole thing up’ and that he hasn’t seen as many dust storms as he says he has.

Shrugging, laughing and swearing occasionally as Will explained how Australia was brought to its knees by a ‘real’ dust storm, George was shown a number of images of various landmarks shrouded by a thick, blood-red haze while he casually sipped his beer.

“Yeah, wow,” he said.

“Fuck me, look at the Story Bridge. You can barely see it! Oh my God! Look at the Sydney one, whatever it’s called. How did you breathe? Did anybody die? It looks like a disaster movie,”

“That type of storm would cut the UK off from the rest of the world!” he said, pursing his lips.

With that, Will slipped his phone back into his jacket pocket and smiled smugly as took a sip from his pint.

His job was done.



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here