WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

A local finance worker in our town’s Old City District sat down with The Advocate today to explain why drug testing welfare recipients ‘just makes sense.’

The aspiring Junior Partner at a commercial law firm named James Silver-Spoon told us that he can’t understand why people don’t agree with him.

“Look, if these people are expecting a handout from the government than I don’t see what’s so appalling about asking for them to be drug tested,” said the man who got his third slap on the wrist last year.

“There’s got to be consequences for your actions,” explained the son of a local Partner at a Law Firm who has managed to use the legal system to ensure his penchant for stockbrokers snow means he doesn’t get any more than a Section 10 whenever he gets caught.

“Like, I don’t know, there’s a lot to be said for learned helplessness. You can’t just expect to live off the taxpayer’s purse and live it up all you want,” he said, failing to mention the complex trust system set up by his family that further minimises the amount of tax his family pays.

The Young Liberal then told The Advocate that despite the fact that many experts in the area think cutting off welfare payments if people fail tests is an appalling idea, he thinks pandering to that sentiment is just perpetuating ‘people’s victim complex.’

He explained that rather than fixing the woefully underfunded mental health system and the problems with the fact there are fuck all substance abuse rehabilitation facilities and pathways for people to get clean, we just need to give them an incentive to stop.

“Take away a drug addict’s resources and they might have a think about their spiralling life choices in a rational way and decide to get clean,” said Silver-Spoon.

“Anyway, it’s something I’m passionate about and I’m not ashamed to admit it.”


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