LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Central Betoota was the sight of an enormous gesture of friendship today as loyal mates of Riley Burrows (29) came forward to support him after his girlfriend Lydia Varney (30), made the right decision and left him earlier today.
“That’s fucked,” Burrow’s mate Braden Gillespie (28) responded on the group chat, despite the fact he clearly understands why.
“Lyds is a great girl and it makes sense she wanted out. She’s 30, wants kids and Riley is a big kid who would make a horrible father. Still, doesn’t really seem fair on him though.”
Since Burrow’s announcement of his split from Varney on the group chat titled “The Cum”, it has been active with messages of support from his close circle of friends, assuring him that it will be OK and disregarding the fact it’s definitely all his fault.
“No way mate!”
“Sorry to here mate. Shook”
“Shit, what a shock,”
It has since been revealed the consensus amongst the friends is that the real shock is that Varney did not leave Burrows sooner, due to his lack of maturity, wavering faithfulness and general disinterest in their relationship.
“I’d never let him date my sister let me put it that way. He’s upset now but he’ll go back to trying to feel up the glassy down the townie any day now. Won’t mention that for now though, he’s doing it tough poor bugger.”
Other members of the group chat insist the gesture that carried the most mateship and least accuracy came from Burrow’s childhood friend Luke D’Angelo.
“I just told him he’ll find someone better. Eventually, he’ll realise that Lyds was the best he’s ever going to get and that this was all his fault but there’s no point telling him that today.”
“Right now, what he needs is a dozen tinnies and to be around people who appreciate him for the childish dunce that no woman in their right mind would date he is.”