ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

One of our town’s weirdest looking people, who is unsurprisingly English, has tentatively searched for how one becomes a ‘Permanent Resident’ of Australia, after leaked government documents suggest the consequences of a no-deal Brexit would be disastrous.

Miles Alabath, originally from England’s hellish Midlands region, is currently enjoying his second year here in Australia and has found work in our town’s bustling recruitment sector.

The 27-year-old spoke to The Advocate today at a French Quarter cafe, where he admitted the leaked report compiled by the Cabinet Office under the codename Operation Yellowhammer had made him want to stay in Australia.

“Ey lei kit ere,” he said.

“Ang’nd wiell alweeys be meiu houime buh uh dun wun teh guo bah dere. Al es Brexit gear eh no chuice or brulliunt. uh is nogh on an ey wuld rarver becoom eh paermunent risudent of Ausrailya wiuth he vieywh eh becoomin a sutizen leighor on,”

“Weil eh dun ave anneh descornuble skiull, ‘alunt or expuriessse un uny feeld, eh ave gud bahner an am eahsey to guet alonn wuth. Geish! I alriieayady suind luike eh’m uan Ausrailiyan!”

The Pom, who is set to head home to the UK when his Youth Mobility Visa expires later this year, is yet to put the plan to action but will soon, he says.

The Advocate reached out to the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trading for comment on the expected spike of odd-looking English people applying to stay in Australia permanently.

They have yet to respond.

More to come.


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