ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Without Sky News political commentators like Ross Cameron and Andrew Bolt, Michael Casswell remarked that he wouldn’t be able to sleep well at night knowing that there’s nobody asking the hard questions.

Rather than watch something he’d enjoy, the retired investor often parks himself in the middle of his Nick Scali sofa and watches The Project or Q&A – an activity his cardiologist has warned him about before.

The 64-year-old spoke with The Advocate late this afternoon to share some insight into his deep-seeded loathing of progressive opinion and political correctness.

“I mean, they just get me so FUCKING worked up with their shit! It is shit. Left-wing garbage aimed at perpetuating a false agenda like climate change or gun control,” he said.

“Jesus Christ, fuck-me-rone! The fact that it’s allowed on television and our society is sufficiently perverse to entertain it has me concerned for my children’s future.”

However, there’s one of his boys that he’s not worried about.

Middle-son Isaac self-identifies as a member of the alt-right movement – an online organisation credited with aiding Donald Trump’s race to The White House in 2016.

Since discovering that the 23-year-old NEET [Not In Education, Employment or Training] worked on the campaign devastating online against Hillary and Bernie, Michael has tried to play a more active part in Isaac’s life, considering they share similar middle-to-far-right political views.

“Dad is trying to get me to explain memes to him and he’s trying to make them, which is serious normie behaviour,” said Isaac.

“I think he’s forgetting that I have issues with almost every other person on the planet and interacting with people on an amicable, first-person level is almost impossible for me. While we both hate the Left and their influence on the global political economy and we also hate those who fail to contribute to society, I’m not about to go to the [golf] club with him and his mates to sink ‘tins’ and talk about shit.”

“Dad is such a fucking Chad. You should hear him give it to his PA when Mum’s at bridge. If he wasn’t paying for the internet, I would cut him up with my katana and put him in the compost bin. Sorry. [coughs] Can you not print that?”

That hasn’t stopped Michael from picking up a four-litre-a-day Mountain Dew habit and he’s also keen on replacing his wife with a waifu – a fictional female character from non-live-action visual media (typically an anime, manga, or video game) to whom one is attracted and, in some cases, considers a significant other.

In most cases, the waifu is physically portrayed by a pillow that one is able to get physical with in a way in which a normal, well-adjusted person would get physical with another human being.

Almost every member of the alt-right movement enjoys the company of a waifu pillow at some point.

“Isaac hasn’t had any blues with his live-in girlfriend! [laughs]” said Michael.

“I’ve been thinking about trading in the wife for one! But yeah, nah, mate. Glad me and ‘Saac are on the same page.”

More to come.




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