Extreme weather has battered Australia’s east coast, causing severe erosion on Main Beach – a popular tourist destination – which has already been hammered due to previous erosions.

After days of severe weather and massive swells smashing what was left of Byron Bay’s famous beach has all but disappeared, and that’s not just an alarmist position taken by climate change warriors.

Even the most leathery coastie grampas are beginning to wonder if their hometown will be one of the first Australian localities that will be destroyed by rising sea levels.

“We’re watching our beach disappear” said Byron mayor, Simon Richardson.

After a decade of rapid gentrification, the fact that the beach is disappearing is also bad news for the Australian economy, as this once docile hippy town is now the nation’s most expensive property market by the metre.

In fact, the climate-change-accelerated storms currently battering the most eastern point of the Australian continent are so devastating that they have left the home of the Hemsworths looking worse than Rex Hunt when he skipped town forever in 2005.

Now folklore amongst pre-linen Byron locals, ‘The Rex Hunt Incident’ marks a turning point in the history of the town.

Southern newspapers at the time claim the fishing and AFL identity Rex Hunt was ‘set upon’ by a group of 15 local teenagers who were drunk and looking for trouble.

However, the courts later found that the teenagers were ‘straight edge’ surfers who had been provoked when they were called ‘poofters’ by the extremely intoxicated Hunt and his equally rowdy son, who threw the first punch in a fight they ended up losing by a Byron Mile.

Never since this incident has there been a bigger hiding handed out in the Northern Rivers capital, until this week – when the town itself was given a Rex-Hunt-sized battering by mother nature.

“Our town is looking worse than Rex Hunt was looking after he came up here running his mouth on holidays” the Byron mayor Simon Richardson added.

“We’ve been totally Rex Hunted by this weather”

“I feel sorry for all those Melbournites who came out of lockdown for this shit.”

“Not since the Rex Hunt incident have Melbourne tourists had a worse time in Byron Bay”


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