TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

A recent report carried out by the Australian Decency Agency (ADA) has today released a one hundred per-cent accurate document pinpointing where in our society the lowest, most painful humans are clustered.

In the report the ADA specifies that these clusters can be found all over Australia, in any apartment building that operates under a strata scheme.

“We aren’t sure why all people in Strata committees are fuckwits, they just are” says ADA lead researcher Chad Manfield.

“A psychologist on our team says it’s because they never got any leadership roles or positions of power growing up, so they become these pathetic, spiteful and selfish people when given the most minor position of authority” Mr. Manfield went on.

A strata scheme is a building or collection of buildings that has been divided into ‘lots’.

Lots can be individual units/apartments, townhouses or houses. The strata scheme is overseen by a third party, known as a strata manager, but decisions pertaining to the upkeep and alteration of the building are decided by the strata committee.  

“In 90% of cases we examined, members of strata committees were unable to peacefully and easily come to an agreement – it was mind boggling”

“In one instance, I saw two people get in a fist fight about another unit draping a towel over their balcony”

“Any sane person would just let it dry and get on with their own life”

“But as we found out in the report, members of strata committees are generally unhappy with their own life and look for ways to make everyone else’s lives as miserable as their own”

“It’s sad.”


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