LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
One of the most popular board games is Monopoly, a real estate themed game that gives most Millenials their only chance to own property with the realistic detail of it mostly being up to chance disguised as hard work.
On Friday evening, one group of gamers sat in their French Quarter living room gathered around a Monopoly board and wishing quite strongly that they weren’t.
The collective maliasie has been attributed to colleague/top hat Ian Barkley, who is playing Monopoly iron fisted enough to make his dark-aged landlord ancestors smile with dead-toothed glee.
“Ah! Vine Street, that’s mine! I will accept cash, properties and sexual favours,” joked Barkley with the intensity of someone who really meant it.
“Just give me all your stations and we’ll call it even. Peasant.”
Barkley’s strategies include causing a ‘housing shortage’ by not converting his houses to hotels, sledging the other players and someone always cashing in on the Free Parking.
For the other four players, Barkley’s cruelty is coming off as a bit rich considering he’s the one who wanted to play the game to begin with.
“He begged us to play like it was a kidney transplant,” stated player/racecar Alice Fisher, as she choked the goon sack for the last vapors of Fruity Lexia.
“You know what I’d do if there were no rules? I’d hang Mr Monopoly from the street lamp.”
“And I’d make Barkley watch, let him know he’s next.”