A recent report by the Australian Pool Safety association has delved into whether or not it has actually sunk in that a local mum doesn’t want anyone drinking out of glass while in or near the pool.

It appears the four or five times she has very loudly mentioned this rule might not have been enough, as her middle child Brendan (21) continues to fuck around with a glass beer bottle in his hand while swimming with his cousins.

“Brendan, did you hear what I said?” she yells from the kitchen, briefly breaking away from a phone call with her sister who has taken the wrong turn off.

“I said no glass in the pool!”

“Do I need to be any clearer?!”

Brendan, who is currently showing off to one of his older sister’s friends who is staying with the family over Christmas, maintains his adult independence by choosing to ignore his mum, a bold move that only incites more rage from the matriarch.

“Last Christmas I was fishing shards of Corona bottles out of there for weeks” she yells, as though he is listening to every word she is saying, which he is.

“It tore a hole in the net. Do you wanna pay for that? In fact you can pay for professional pool cleaners this time”

Brendan slowly but surely makes his way to the steps to dispose of his beer without making a big deal.

However, at time of press it was believed that he and the cousins had started making rum and cokes with some of his dad’s expensive crystal scotch glasses, and were once again in the pool area.


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