LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Two police squad teams answered an urgent call from a South Betoota home at 7:14 PM where it has been confirmed, dad, Leslie Jones, served up leftover apricot chicken for dinner.

Crowds gathered in front of the Burra Street home as the police resolved a domestic dispute, which involved the sounds of childrens’ screams and alleged stamping of feet.

“At this time we can only confirm that it was reheated apricot chicken for dinner. We are not at liberty to report if it was packet apricot chicken until the forensic results come back.”

Betoota Police Chief Gordon Gordonson has asked people to respect the space of the Jones family while being quick to condemn Leslie Jones for his actions.

“Presently, our thoughts and prayers are with the Jones family. (The) dad, Leslie Jones, who we are currently holding in custody for further questioning, has a lot to answer for.”

Described by his neighbours as a cheerful father of three, many are unsure what ultimately led to Jones’ actions.

“I don’t really get it, who does that to their children? Just get some takeaway or something, honestly, apricot chicken isn’t even really that good the first time.”

One person deflecting the criticism however, is none other than Jones himself, who stood by his actions in a brief statement given to police.

“This is ridiculous. Maybe if I had some help in the kitchen we wouldn’t have to have apricot chicken two bloody nights in a row! Yeah, it’s not the best dish but everyone eats it and in a family of five that’s a bloody rare thing to come across!”

“And for goodness sake, no we’re not getting takeaway, we had it already last week!”

Police Chief Gordon Gordonson is satisfied with this response.

“He knows what she did and I think he’s prepared to live with the consequences. While investigating the kitchen we found evidence that tomorrow night’s dinner was going to be cauliflower cheese. Clearly, this is someone who does not have his family’s best interests at heart.”

More to come.

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