FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact
Tensions are high in the Yarvis household this week after husband Bjorn has come under fire for his bold claim; that the most recent movie chosen by wife Laura is based solely around some sort of allegedly hilarious misunderstanding, just like every other movie she has ever chosen.
“She was mad at me for falling asleep halfway through, but I already knew what the movie was about because all of her movies have the same plot” explained Bjorn.
“Some chick is dating some bloke, then there is some sort of “misunderstanding” where she thinks he is a prick for some reason.
“Then instead of easily explaining the situation, he cooks up some convoluted plan that ends in a grand gesture causing her to choose him over the unlikable douche she replaced him with.”
“It’s really annoying because if the bloke just explained himself properly at the start then the movie would be over in 20 minutes and we’d have time to watch Reservoir Dogs or Safe House or some other movie that isn’t shit”.
For her part, Laura claims that Bjorn is only interested in “stupid action movies” and that all of her movie choices are unique cinematic jewels that are simply too sophisticated for his boofy tastes.
“Last night’s movie was a real classic. The main character, played by Hugh Grant, is spotted by his wife, played by Susan Sarandon, in a car with a man from work, played by Eddie Murphy.”
“She is so upset that she vandalises his art gallery while he just stands there shouting “I can explain”, instead of actually explaining that Eddie Murphy’s character is just a business associate.”
“To try to win her back he paints a giant mural of a rose on the wall outside her house which he unveils just as she is about to take the bus to leave the state forever to move in with her ex, played by Steve Buscemi.”
“And she gets on the bus, and it’s really sad, but then the bus leaves and she is still standing there and they kiss and it’s a really emotional ending”.
Bjorn was unavailable for further comment as he had fallen asleep during his wife’s statement.
