FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact
The athletic community has been shaken today by news that the World Record for the 100m sprint has been smashed by over 0.4 seconds by a man with no connection to the world of running or sports in general.
To add to the achievement, the man was not wearing shoes, or indeed any clothing apart from a pair of SpongeBob boxer shorts, and was dragging a full 240L wheelie bin at the time.
When approached by the Advocate’s Sports Reporter, the man said he never intended to set any new records and had not even prepared for the incredible feat.
“Nah, I didn’t really prepare at all mate, I just smashed a few cans and fell asleep on the couch; me and the missus are having a few issues, you know?”
“Next thing I know, I’m woken up by the garbos emptying the bins next door and it was on” said Betoota Downs farmer Rob Lorrie, 38.
“I got off to a slow start when I slipped on the hall runner but was able to pick up a few extra seconds by taking the three steps off the verandah in one jump.”
“By the time I reached the carport all I could think of was the prawn heads from Wednesday. If I didn’t get this ticking time bomb to the street in 9 seconds or less I’d be on the couch again for sure.”
Whilst the garbage truck had gone, Rob was able to place the bin in position on the opposite side of the road just in time for the truck to collect it on its return trip, to the great relief of the new 100m world record holder.
