ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Disgraced Attorney-General Christian Porter said he’s hit rock bottom after getting called a disgrace by disgraced former Treasurer of Western Australia Troy Buswell in the carpark outside Spearwood ALDI in Perth.

Mr Porter said he’s been forced to drive into a different neighbourhood to do his shopping after ‘recent unpleasantness’.

“I drove all the way out to Spearwood and even went to a supermarket chain I’d never gone to before,” said Porter.

“And when I saw my old friend Troy Buswell there fighting to free the shopping trolley from the stack, I thought I’d say hello for old times sake and perhaps ask for a bit of advice. If there’s anybody who knows what I’m going through, it is Troy.”

But as Porter approached Troy, while the sun set over the Indian Ocean some great distance to the west, he could see his face begin to scrunch up.

“Oh well, well, well, look who it is,” yelled Troy.

People loading groceries into their cars began to look over.

Porter forced a laugh.

“Hey Troy, what’s been going on, man?”

Troy pursed his lips until they turned white.

“Don’t fucking ‘man’ me, you fucking prick!” spat Troy.

“You know what Porter, you’re a real piece of shit! We aren’t the same, you and I. Sure, these people here always give me a stare. Their children point and laugh and call me ‘Sniff Man’ behind my back but I’m stronger because of it. They say, ‘Hey Troy, this car looks better than the one you pin-balled town the street on the piss’ and all I can do is just nod and smile and say, ‘Yep, thank you. That was a long time ago,’ and move on,”

“Don’t think you can come over here and pretend to be my friend again, you’re a disgrace, mate. We aren’t mates.”

Porter nodded and continued into ALDI.

A concerned member of the public approached Troy and said in a soft voice that you need to put a coin in the trolley to release it.

More to come.


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