ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A damning report into the town’s public swimming pool has concluded that nobody has ever regretted having a swim in the Old City District institution’s 75-year history.

The Shire Council spent close to $40 at OfficeWorks printing off a short questionnaire that asked pool-goers if they’ve ever been for a swim and lived to regret the decision.

Not a single respondent said they did.

“Huge,” said Councillor Keith Carton, who moonlights at the town’s mayor.

“We thought that at least a few would’ve regretted going for a swim but no. It seems it really is impossible to regret immersing one’s self in water,”

“Everyone from the kids, to teens, to hungover 20-somethings, to young parents and the elderly. They all love going for a swim it seems. We’ve increased the pool’s budget accordingly.”

The Advocate spoke to some swimmers this morning down at the pool and the report’s sentiments were echoed wholly by them.

Denise Rochester, of the French Quarter, explained to our reporter that she’s only ever regretted one swim in her life.

“When I was 23, down at the quarry jumping off the rock face,” she said.

“Someone had driven a car into the quarry and it was only like 30cm under the water’s surface. I landed on the roof and broke both my legs. I certainly regret that swim,”

“However, these artesian pools here in Betoota have healing powers and the water is great for your skin. I always feel better after a swim.”

More to come.



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