Proving once again we are a nation where everyone can have a go, a Sydney-based JobKeeper recipient has pulled himself up by his bootstraps and sponsored the Tokyo 2020 Olympics. 

The Sydney entrepreneur who would like to remain anonymous but would like Australia to become a dictatorship, states that collecting a small $22 million AUD and $12 million NZD in JobKeeper payments has allowed him to be an official sponsor of the Olympic games to better promote his struggling retail business.

Despite the controversies of the JobKeeper scheme, which allowed large employers to collect sizable benefits while casual workers had to apply for loans at the bank of mum and dad, Australians can rest easy knowing their tax dollars have been well spent serving you constant reminders of who to thank for the Olympic coverage.

“Good on this Norman bloke for using his handouts to actually achieve something,” stated Olympic viewer Owen Clunk (64) who is yet to watch a women’s event without laughing. 

“Most of them are probably too busy whinging about Australia Day to actually pull their finger out and sponsor the Olympics like this battler has.” 

“What an incredibly selfless thing to do.” 


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