ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Betoota Heights mother first laid eyes on her finished display home on Greenstick Road the same week Lady Diana was laid to rest.

It was empty – but it had all the mod-cons.

Airconditioning, central vacuuming and space for two cars in the garage. It also had a kidney-shaped pool.

To Wanda Biarritz, it was perfect.

Since 1997, she’s called the modest three-bedroom display home her primary address along with her weird husband Greg and twin boys, Toshiba and Mike, who’ve since moved out.

And you can really tell, she says, that she furnished the house in 1997.

“I think that crook Gerry Harvey took advantage of my grief,” she told our reporters today.

“Everything you can see in this living room, I bought just a few days after the Princess of Wales passed away. Look at my kitchen, it’s made entirely out of Oregon timber. Go back and look at any homemaker magazine from back then, it’s all Oregon,”

“Look at my dining set. Just look at these hideous faux-suede dining chairs. I can’t even look at them. Can you believe I paid $199 each for them?”

Our reporter nodded.

“It’s my biggest regret. I’ll get that Gerry Harvey if it’s the last thing I ever do. I wanted to go to IKEA but my husband said they were a beacon of Swedish capitalist imperialism so no, we had to go and get ripped off from Gerry,”

“If you think that’s bad, go and look at the pool.”

More to come.


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